Sunday, May 15, 2011

You Know You've Been in the Hospital Too Long When ...

1. You start developing a fondness for the hospital posters in the same way you adored the rock-band posters in your high school bedroom.

2. Your hands start cracking and bleeding from washing too many times and people ask you if you've been in a fight.

3. You not only start recognizing people in the hallways in your building, but in the other buildings too ... and several of them say "hello" when you walk by.

4. You scurry to get your afternoon coffee at 2:45pm because you know the Starbucks Frappy Hour starts at 3:00pm and the line-up will be five-times as long.

5. The doctors and you kind of look at each other and shrug your shoulders during morning rounds, instead of talking about your daughter's status and strategies, and then talk about their kids and their college plans.

6. You get annoyed when you see people use your secret bathroom ... even though there's nothing secret about it.

7. The lady behind the grill in the cafeteria asks, "The usual?" when she sees you.

8. You laugh out loud in the elevator when you hear people complaining about their long stay of two nights, and scramble to turn the laugh into a really fake sounding cough (yeah, that was awkward).

9. You discover hallway short-cuts that none of the doctors or nurses knew about (or even really care about when you excitedly bring them up and kind of look at you with that "Yeaaah" wince-like look on their face).

10. The social workers who have their weekly pot-luck in the conference room by your room ask if you want to join them ... and then, at the end, say you should join them again next week.


  1. Sorry to laugh at your expense but that post made me laugh!

  2. Hey! This one made me laugh...and the previous one is awesome and truly insightful. Having a child with this condition is hard on a relationship.....and truly only the strong survive which is obviously you and Amy. Really, you need to write a book someday (right now you have so much spare time:)
    Love to you all!
    Tara, Scott and Emma

  3. Thanks Tara! Yeah, it is hard. I don't know what Amy and I are going to do with one another when we're living/sleeping in the same house again. :) Thanks for your compliment too ... but you're right, where's the time?!

  4. This was too funny!! Glad you both are able to keep your sense of humor. I can just see the gleam in your eyes finding a shortcut in the halls or beating the crush at Starbucks. Keep the humor. It can sweeten your journey and help lighten the load - even if temporarily. love Dad

  5. A day or two after reading this I got a good laugh when one of the ladies at the Children's Starbucks said she recognized me because I've been going there so much in the past couple of months. Amazing timing! Wayne