Sunday, April 22, 2012

Growing Pains

When you grow, it hurts.

I know of many artists who claim their best work is born from pain.

Growth. Change.

Like the blaze of colours when switching from night to day.

Change can be beautiful.

Gut wrenchingly amazing. Precipitous. Destinal.

I haven't written a post in a long time. It's like I don't have much to say. A plateau I suppose.

I shudder to think of a life-long plateau.

This blog – while a scrapbook of family moments for us – has captured our growth.

Our blaze.

It hasn't been easy. It isn't easy.

Growing is hard work. Much harder than decaying. Plateauing.

We see the world differently.

We're lucky.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


This morning while Gabrielle was with her nurse, I took the boys to drop in gymnastics.  They love the hour and a half of running around completely free to play on all the equipment, the perfect place for two little boys to burn off some steam.

Bob Marley was playing in the back ground and I looked over and saw one of the instructors dancing away on her own and it made me smile.  She looked over at me and in her thick Jamaican accent exclaimed "I just loooooove to dance!"  This made me laugh inside because I instantly thought about my husband who often goes down to the Sandpiper pub for this exact reason - to dance.  She continued to say: "Back in Jamaica we dance all the time, I even danced to the commercials while watching tv ".

Her enthusiasm for dancing made way into a very great conversation about giving thanks.  Since Gabrielle came into my life, I have never been so grateful for all the little things in life. Maybe it's because when you have a child whose palliative and whose not expected to live a long life, you celebrate everything you can in the time that you have together.  A smile, a nice bath, yummy food, music, birds flying in the sky on a walk, a good sleep, and any and all milestones met.  The 'gymnastics lady' was amazed at how much people grumble about things and how much complaining she hears instead of giving thanks and being grateful for what you have.

I couldn't agree more.  So often now I find myself in disbelief about what people are complaining about:  "Really?  Are you really complaining about that?"

What a wonderful breath of fresh air this lady was.  I think we could all take a page out of her Jamaican book -" just dance and give thanks!"

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Memories from Spring

As the sun starts to make an appearance and the weather starts to warm up, I feel myself starting to relax about colds and flus.  This is such an exciting time of year.  A time of renewal, energy, and growth.   We've had a healthy (so far!) and busy spring.  Here are a few memories I want to remember.  One memory I want to forever cherish happened yesterday when I opened the dryer and saw a dryer full of pink, purple, white and blues.  What a sight.  I love my little girl.
Lots of walks in the sunshine


Hanging with Dad before my bath

A long day of hospital appointments

I love my daddy

Getting ready for bath time with my nurse

Hanging outside in the backyard

I love my brother Mickey

Easter treats from Papa

Lots of cuddles with my mom

My brother James playing 'doctor'

Happy 18 month birthday!

My brother James's first soccer game

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Reflections a year later

April 2011

A year ago today we watched the playoffs in our tiny little transplant room.  Regan organized a hockey pool for all the nurses, doctors, parents and for any of the teenagers in transplant to participate.  It was a great way to inject some life into our daily transplant hospital life.  If you would have told me that in a year  I would be watching the playoffs with all three of my kids and my husband in our house, I never would have believed you.

Easter 2011

A year ago, we celebrated Easter at the hospital and the boys did an Easter Egg hunt with their cousins at Auntie Julie's house.  This year, I woke up to two very excited little boys running around the house collecting chocolate and one happy little girl in my arms.  A year ago, I never could have imagined this.

April 2012

I am the luckiest, most grateful mommy in the world.

Easter 2012