October 13th, 2012

October 13th, Gabrielle's second birthday, we spent a quiet afternoon at home.  We started the morning singing happy birthday to our sweet daughter and then quietly celebrated the rest of the day.  Thanks so much Deb of Deb Brown Photography for coming to our house to take some pictures of this very special day.  I can't believe you were able to capture some pics of our rambunctious kids!  

Happy 2nd Birthday Gabrielle

Gabby, 

When you were born and we didn't know you had I-Cell, we wanted – more than anything – for you to pull through and get started with a very long and healthy life. 

In the months that followed, when we were coming to grips with your I-Cell and were absolutely devastated, we kept a part of ourselves from fully falling in love with you because we didn't want to fall too hard.

Now, despite all your ailments and medical needs, your larger-than-life personality has required us to love you like a healthy little girl. Like a 'normal' little girl. And boy do we ever. 

It used to bother me when people used to say, "You never know, miracles do occur," because we knew your illness is terminal. But, today, two years later – your second birthday(!), a day we never imagined would come – it's become very clear that you are our family's miracle.

You are so special, Gabrielle. You have filled us full up with more love and feeling and perspective than we were ever possible of holding before. Thank you.

We want you to be with us for as long as you can. And we love you so much.

Happy Birthday,

Love Mom and Dad.

3 more days...

Goodness.  I really seem to struggle to write anything down these days.  Partly because I feel so brain dead, stressed, emotional or just plain exhausted by the end of the day that to sit down and compose anything meaningful, seems like the most daunting task at the end of a long day.  But no matter how CRAZY the day was, I always, always reflect on how much love I feel for our 4 kids as they sleep peacefully.  Funny how you do that.  We have a wonderfully full life and I know I will be one of those little old ladies who reminds the younger mommies to enjoy every minute.

Playing with playdough

Gabrielle turns 2 this weekend and the weekend is officially her birthday weekend.  We are going to celebrate.  And as this time seems to fly by so fast, i want to capture some memories of my sweet daughter so that one day,when I am desperate to feel her, I can turn to my blog to remember.

Gabrielle,

I love putting you to bed.  I love turning your body on to it's side, sticking your pillow in between your legs, putting the probe on your foot and wrapping the pose around it, feeding you your bottle and singing 'you are my sunshine' over and over.   I love rubbing your cheek and down under your chin where your skin is so wonderfully soft.  I love rubbing your head so that your hair lays flat on your forehead and I love when you reach to my face so that I can kiss your hand, and all the way down your arm.  I love when I put your splints on your hand, how you play with it and bang it hard on the mattress to hear the noise.  You are so playful.  I love hearing you breath on your monitor and I marvel at how you've learned to self-sooth yourself so well with your soother going in and out of your mouth with your splint-less hand.  You are so wise.  Much wiser then most 2 year olds I know.

I love taking you for walks in your stroller.  You hold on tight to the sides and kick your feet when cars pass by on the road.  You strain to look for us, and when I poke my head to the side so you can see me, you smile so big.  Your smile makes my heart smile.

I love hearing your 'ba ba ba ba's' and all your sounds.  You have two very chatty brothers and have learned to be loud in order to get noticed!  You love to bang all your toys on your metal tray, and wow,  are you ever loud.  But you love it, and because you get so much pleasure out of it, I let you bang away as much as you want.

I love watching you play with James.  You two have little conversations all the time and it is so funny to listen to.  You adore him and your face lights up whenever he comes in the room.  Your brother Michael and you are so close in age.  You are only a year apart and he is your little buddy.  He gets so excited when he sees you do things and you can always hear him yell excitedly 'Mom, guess what Gab just did?'.  He loves to watch you and kiss you.

You are still a little longer then Jonathan.  He now officially weighs more then you at 2 1/2 months but you've still got him in length:)  He is such a special little boy and loves to lay beside you on the play mat on the floor and on our bed.  I love how you shriek with delight when I lay him beside you and you always turn and reach for him.  Because your little fingers curl in a little, you scratch your brothers faces, but they've all learned that you don't mean to do it on purpose.  You are simply playing with them.

I am so excited to celebrate your second birthday this weekend.  Thank you for teaching me what really matters in life Gabrielle.  You are indeed the most beautiful little girl I've ever met.

Happy-almost-birthday.