Holidays can be such an incredibly emotional and difficult time for families and for people who have lost someone they love and my heart goes out to them at this time. Holidays can be a time that you don't want to acknowledge when you're grieving, you want to fast forward all the festivities and make it a regular day again. It's a reminder of what you've lost, and of what you don't have.
I am fully aware that one day, maybe 1 month from now, maybe 5 years from now, I will be grieving the loss of Gabrielle, and we will have to learn how to live a life without her beautiful spirit in our lives. I too will cling to any and all photos and videos at holiday time and will cry buckets and will physically ache to hold her in my arms again.
But not now. Not today. Even through the exhaustion and daily grind, I will continue to be grateful that we have her with us on Easter and I will continue to make the most of our days. I love watching her shred the pieces of paper in her pink Easter basket so oblivious to the fact that there are chocolate eggs and bunnies to be eaten. I love watching her play with her basket making her funny noises as she concentrates in handling the basket from hand to hand. I love watching her as she watches her brothers screaming around the house collecting chocolate eggs. I love how she's developed a defense mechanism for Jonny and will whack him if he gets too close so as to protect her oxygen and her hair (he loves pulling her hair!).
Today, I send strength and love to all the families that are grieving the loss of their son or daughter. And today, I am going to enjoy my 'little' family and all the wonderful things I am so blessed to have in my life.
Happy Easter everyone!