Since the birth of our beautiful daughter Gabrielle, I have lost and have been grieving a normal life for me, my kids, my husband and most importantly, for my dear, sweet daughter Gabrielle. And here I am, a year and a half later, and I am still crying tears over what could have been, and over what my daughter, my family will never experience.
Some of me has accepted our new normal. But, I don't know if I will ever be 100% ok with our new normal. I think a part of me will always, always grieve for the loss of life, the loss of many things amidst all the gains and lessons learned. What I really would wish for would be for Gabrielle to experience life with a healthy body like mine, like yours, like the rest of my children.
However, that is not the reality. And if you are going to cope and function on a day to day basis you need to focus on what you have, not what you don't have. I have a beautiful daughter. I love her with every ounce of me. I look at her and I think to myself how much I love her and how is it possible to love someone so much. Whenever I am in physical pain and I need some strength, the first person I think of is Gabrielle. I think of all the challenges she has faced – and will continue to face – and how she overcomes each and every one with a smile on her face. She gives me strength every day. She is my little hero and has taught me that there is no normal.